This story is one of Jesus’ love for us in the midst of unbelievable situations. When we are in the storm, He still reigns.
Overcoming Infertility and Marital Challenges
When Sarah and her husband Matt got married 15 years ago, they faced a number of challenges right from the start. As Sarah shares, they both struggled with anger issues and were not equally yoked in their faith, with Sarah being the stronger believer between the two. On top of that, they battled with infertility for about 6 years before finally conceiving their first child, Ethan.
These early years of marriage were filled with valleys and struggles, as Sarah describes. “We had those days, months, weeks where everything’s great and then you have the valleys where it’s just you are stuck in this pit. What is happening? What is going on? How did we get here? How did we get out? What do we do?” During these difficult times, Sarah would often fall into despair, praying fervently but feeling like God wasn’t answering her prayers the way she wanted.
Sarah admits that there were times when she was “just done” and wanted God to give her permission to get divorced, but He never did. She credits this as a pivotal moment, where God was preparing her and shaping her perspective, even when she couldn’t see it at the time.
Finding Community and a Renewed Faith
It wasn’t until Sarah started working at a church’s Mother’s Day out program that she began to find the community and spiritual support she so desperately needed. There, she connected with a woman who became a dear friend, listening to Sarah’s struggles, praying with her, and even gifting her a new Bible.
This newfound community and the encouragement to dive back into God’s Word began to give Sarah a sense of peace and stability that had been lacking in her marriage. As she spent more time surrounded by strong believers, she started to see the importance of raising her son Ethan in that kind of environment.
It was around this time that Sarah reached a turning point with her husband Matt. She said, “I almost gave him an ultimatum…you need to be raised around this kind of community. And I did almost give Matt an ultimatum – you can pick, I don’t care what church you want to go to, but me and Ethan are going.” Surprisingly, Matt agreed, and they started attending a new church together.
Matt’s Spiritual Transformation
While Sarah didn’t initially notice a significant change in Matt, she began to see small signs that he was being impacted by their new church community. “I would just kind of walk through the house and I’d catch him reading his Bible and I’m like, ‘Huh, that’s interesting.’ And then he would kind of be up and ready to go.” It was a gradual process, but eventually Matt had a profound spiritual awakening.
The turning point came when Sarah unexpectedly became pregnant naturally, something they had struggled with for years. “He came home and I had like a little all the tests lined out to let him know when he walked in the door and he says, ‘This was God’s timing. God knew we needed to wait. He was ready.'” This was a pivotal moment for Matt, as Sarah recognized that he was truly having a “real big heart transformation.”
Sarah reflects on this shift in Matt, saying, “I think at first it came very begrudgingly…but something about Pastor Jeremy really spoke to him. I think it was probably his sense of humor that broke down that wall. And then all of a sudden, I would just kind of walk through the house and I’d catch him reading his Bible and I’m like, ‘Huh, that’s interesting.'”
Weathering the Storm of Postpartum Depression
Just when it seemed like their marriage was on the right track, Sarah faced another major challenge – severe postpartum depression after the birth of their second child, Evan. Sarah describes this as a time when “the enemy had just got so deep rooted” in her mind, to the point where she had written letters planning to take her own life.
However, the turning point came when Matt’s friend tragically committed suicide. Seeing Matt’s grief and pain over this loss broke through Sarah’s darkness, and she finally confided in him about her own struggles. “He broke down crying which shocked the heck out of me…and he started praying over me.” This moment of vulnerability and Matt’s compassionate response was the catalyst Sarah needed to recommit her life to the Lord.
Sarah shares, “It was actually our anniversary a few years ago, I went and re-baptized here at Timber Creek. I recommitted and I was like, ‘I’m not giving a foothold anymore.’ And it was because I had a husband who was redeemed.” She credits Matt’s own spiritual transformation and his support during this difficult time as the reason she was able to overcome her postpartum depression.
Embracing Redemption and Looking Ahead
When asked to sum up their journey in one word, Sarah immediately responds, “Redemption.” She and Matt have discussed this theme extensively, as they’ve witnessed God’s relentless pursuit of their marriage and family.
Sarah reflects, “Just through God’s grace and his patience, he’s been nothing but just redeeming him, redeeming me, redeeming our marriage, our family – just constantly being so gracious.” The trials they’ve endured have forged an unbreakable bond, and they are now passionate about sharing their story to encourage other couples.
As Sarah says, “I always look at that now in retrospect…I was so patient and I had so much trust that the Lord was going to do what he needed to do with Matt. And because of that, I was rewarded and really truly saved because of that.” Their journey is a powerful testament to the transformative power of faith, perseverance, and God’s unwavering love.
Lessons for Struggling Couples
- Don’t give up too soon: Sarah and Matt’s story shows that even in the darkest of times, God can redeem and restore a marriage. Quitting may seem justified, but the consequences can be devastating.
- Seek godly community: Finding a supportive, faith-filled community was pivotal for Sarah. Surround yourself with believers who can pray for you and provide spiritual encouragement.
- Pray without ceasing: Sarah’s unwavering commitment to prayer, even when she felt God wasn’t answering, ultimately paved the way for her husband’s transformation.
- Look at your spouse through God’s eyes: Shifting your perspective to see your partner as God sees them, with all their strengths and struggles, can make a profound difference.
- Be patient and trust God’s timing: Sarah’s patience and trust in God’s plan, even when she couldn’t understand it, allowed Him to work mightily in their lives.
Conclusion: Embracing the Redemptive Power of Faith
Sarah and Matt’s story is a powerful reminder that no situation is beyond God’s redemptive power. Through their trials and tribulations, they have emerged with a deeper faith, a stronger marriage, and a renewed commitment to sharing the hope they’ve found.
As Sarah so eloquently states, “Redemption” is the word that best captures their journey. By clinging to their faith, supporting one another, and trusting in God’s perfect timing, they have been able to overcome even the darkest of circumstances. Their story stands as a testament to the transformative power of perseverance, community, and the unwavering love of our Heavenly Father.
Transcript
hey Bubba here Make it Mappen Missions this is our seventh seventh People Around Me video we’re here at our homechurch uh Timber Creek Lufkin hey I amhere today with Sarah she’s actually theuh wife of Matt who did our video backin March of this year and I tell you itwas a it was a two-part series and uhand we’ve had a lot of positive feedbackand there’s been some guys that havehave reallyuh been affected by Matt’s honesty andhis openness and today we’re so glad tohave Sarah hereuh we we don’t go on a script we don’tgo on notes we just go on what we feelthe Lord wantsto project and to put out there uh youmight notice uh we’re wearing shorts manit is May it’s almost summer it’salready hot in Texas and uh we’re justgoing to cool off a little bit so Sarahthanks again for being here i knowMatt’s probably babysitting but that’sokay what goes around comes around anduh you and I had kind of discussed kindof the direction you wanted to goand I just wanted you to just share yourheart and I know you have a heart forfor young couples uh and I know you’veexpressed and you’re going to share alittle bit today about some of thestruggles that you have faced and andthe victories that you have seen andthat you’ve been a part of and so let’sjust kind of let’s just kind of delveinto it and just see see what the Lordhas to say okay just go ahead and andyou kind of take up where you feel theLord wants you to and addressing whatyou want let’s just make it up okay umwell I’m married to Matt we um you guysbeen married how long actually 15 yearsthis past week just Congratulations 15years wow and your oldest child is onlyHe is eight eight so there was a littlebit of time before the children camethat there was Okay yes we got to gothrough the fire um it was good thoughit was in retrospect it was definitely aGod’s timing thing oh wow um you knowyou can always look back on the lens ofthe past and kind of see God’s workthrough everything so um yes we had alot of infertility issues it took usprobably about six years i think ma’ammentioned that yes so um that was anadded stressor to some already someissues that we already kind of broughtinto our marriage um both of us haveanger issues in our own way um I’m kindof more of a quiet reserve matt is veryloud and abrasive and um we’re polaropposites on everything so it justcaused a lot of friction we were veryyoung when we got married um I was abeliever i knew Jesus was real i knew hedied for our sinsum I don’t know if I would say I wasfollowing the way I should have been umthere were lots of lapses there were alot of years that I probably veered wayfurther than I probably realized and hadto come back and lots of ebbing andflowingmatt I would say he knew about Christ iwould say in a way he was a believer butbetween the two of us I would say Iprobably was a little firmer in myfoundation there um so I always say thatwas probably red flag one that we werenot equally yolked we did not come inwith the foundation of God so forcouples now that’s always my my bigdisclaimer absolutely but even though wekind of came in at that disadvantage Godjust did so many remarkable things umduring the first few years of ourmarriage i feel like it’s like anyoneelse you have those days months weekswhere everything’s great and then youhave the valleys where it’s just you arestuck in this pit what is happening whatis going on how do how did we get herehow did we get out what what do we doum and those were thetimes I I think for me I I would fallinto a lot ofdespair um I prayed a lot that’s alwaysthe one thing I’ I’ve been very diligentabout is I I pray like nobody’s businessconstantlyum during but during those times heum I don’t know God just um would notanswer my prayers in the way I wantedthem answered I think would probably bethe best way I could say that I I thinkthere were quite a few timesI was just done I wantedhelped but I um not a big believer indivorce at all iI despise it honestly but I wanted Godto give me an okay to get divorced buthe never would give me my out why do youthink that i mean you know we we hear wehear situations of people gettingdivorced or separated and and you knowyou and I have talked briefly and andyou may mention you thinkAnd and we both agreed that a lot oftime people come into the marriage andthey both have issues demons and weexpect the other one to take care of itand it it just it doesn’t work and it’snot their job no it’s not their job butyet the world says “Hey you take care ofyou take care of you.” And I’m sure youhad family that loved you and friendsthat would say “Hey he’s a nice.” Yeahand it was that kind of where you werein a way i I actually I think I talkedto some friends and family at the veryvery beginning the infancy of ourmarriage and I very quickly stoppedthatbecause I would tell them these thingsand I would kind of just blurt out likeh all this is going on and everyone’sfirst response was like you don’tdeserve that you don’t need to put upwith that you need just kick him to thecurb get out whatever or he needs to dothis and it was always like thesevery firm like he needs to do this andhe needs to do that and I’m like whoawhoa whoa and it just then I wouldalmost go in the defense of Matt evensometimes it was deserved sometimes notand I think it was um in my case Iwasn’t looking for an echo chamber i wasjust screaming and hollering for helpand the people I was screaming andhollering to were not themselvesfollowers in walking with Christ itmakes a big difference yes makes a bigdifference if for me I would do this andI was hollering for help and when theywould give me that echo chamber of like”Yeah you’re right he shouldn’t do thishe this shouldn’t be.” You know and I’mlike “Well yeah I’m saying that but Idon’t need to hear that back i just needguidance on this um and I would getreally discouraged so I just shut downand stopped talking to anybody about itfor a really really long time um until afew years later we were still in themidst of our um infertility i actuallyhad just stopped working at the gymwhere we had met the first time ohthat’s right that’s been a few yearsback yes um and I was working at anotherchurch here in Lufuskin at a Mother’sDay out program and um I connected withthis really beautiful woman who I justadore and she was just so strong in herfaith she and I would talk I wouldum to her all these things that weregoing on she would cry with me she wouldpray with me and I remember she wasasking me and I was like I pray all thetime about this i don’t know i don’tknow why God’s not answering my prayersi don’t know why you know he must be madat me or you know I I’m not doing thisright or I’m not doing that right orsomething something I’m doing is wrongi’m not doing it right and she wasreally encouraging on me praying andeventually one day she just came withthis really beautiful bag in this newBible for me and just gifted it to meshe didn’t really say a whole lot withit she’s just like “I just feel like youneed this.” And um it hung around in myroom for a while and I finally starteddiving back in the word and it juststarted giving me so much peace at thattime and um during that time she hadleft that church to go work at anotherone and they reached out and offered mea job and then that whole program wassurrounded by all of these women whowere so strong in faith that we wereconstantly talking about the Lord wewere constantly praying over each otherand I’ve just kind of felt like I wasfinally finding footing for the firsttime and that was when um shortly thatwas around the time I had my first sonat Ethan and I was just staring at himand I was like we need more of this youneed to be raised in this you need to beraised around people like this and Ikind of was also at my witson with Mattbecause we were back and forth his dadwas having tremendous healthproblems and at the time I didn’t knowit at the time but Matt was already inthe midst of his own spiritual conflictand figuring things out which he neververbalized to me and he talked aboutthat on the video he did um which a lotof that I didn’t know he was goingthrough thatthrough like that deep of faith at thattime i didn’t know he was having theseconversations having these prayers wedidn’t discuss it the Lord was reallybeginning to work on him he was atransformation into who God intended himto be let me ask you a question you saidsomething you just didn’t believe is theguy mad at me is he but would you wouldyou agree that maybe and would you thatwe get to looking Lord there they areyou need to fix them i’m praying aboutthis but he’s saying “I know but maybethere’s some things I need to help youwith.” Do you think maybe looking backwas was he preparing you for what was tocome i think it was a little of that andI think he was preparing me for thingsto come and I also So I think that myheart needed a huge perspective shiftperspective shift yes because this isone thingFrom other couples I’ve talked to menand women I think if you are not lookingat your spouse through the lens of Godyou’re looking at them as far as whothat per like this person does this thisand this and I don’t like this and theyneed to change this and this and thisinstead of looking at them like Godcreated this person he gave him all ofthese gifts he gave him all thesestrengths he also has all of thesestruggles wow and I want to look at himthrough the lens of how is how is Godlooking at him and loving him i want tolove him the way God does like I knowyou have thesestruggles how how can I pray for youover these how can we get through thesestruggles like you are really strugglingwith this rage right now over this isinstant or you are really strugglingwith this at your work right now and Ithink both ways for men and women youget so looking internally at yourselfand how you’re being mistreated or howyou feel like you should be loved or youthink you should be and I think if youstep back and look at it from theperspective of how God is looking atyour marriage that’s not how he’slooking at it at all he’s not looking atit as hey Matt’s not loving Sarah theway she deserves sarah’s not loving Mattit’s like we need to love each other theway I’ve created you to love each otherso let me ask you this when when whenyou had this uhshift do you think that that was part ofwhat God was preparing you for when whenyou begin to seeMatt trans trying to to shift you knowyou hear the old saying you can you canget the boy out of Egypt but it takes awhile to get the Egypt out of boy yesand and I understand thati I can guaranteeyou Matt saw something there in in a sopositive way instead of maybe a reactionthat you had had previously to the sameevents he sees you coming at it from atotal differentperspective did Did he Did he sayanything did he notice so no matt Matt’snot always the most forthcoming with hisfeelings oh understand which is I thinka lot of men and that’s totally fine umI really didn’t notice any I didn’t knowanything i I almost gave him anultimatum at that time because like Isaid with Ethan I was like “You need tobe raised around this kind ofcommunity.” And I did almost give Mattan ultimatum like you need we need toget into a church we need to start goingin and being fed you can come with usyou know jump on the wagon or you canstay at home but me and Ethan are goingand which is very uncharacteristic ithink that was some Holy Spirit orsomething because I is not me i don’t dothat um and I said “You can pick i don’tcare whatever church you want to go to.”And we happened to know a couple um whohe used to work with the the gentlemanum and I said they she told me that heloves it there it has transformed theirfamily and they he said fine let’s justgo try it and I think at first it camevery begrudgingly he just kind of waslike shuffling through but somethingabout Pastor Jeremy really spoke to himi think it was probably his sense ofhumor so that broke down that wall and Ithink he started paying attention andthen all of a sudden I would just kindof walk through the house and I’d catchhim reading his Bible and I’m like “Huhthat’s interesting.” And then he wouldkind of be up and ready to go it justkind of like little small transitionsand it it kind of started hitting andthen all of a sudden um I think we werehere probably about a year and a halfand um it was the first time I’d everbecome pregnant naturally oh i found outhe was at work the next day uh he camehome and I had like a little all thetests lined out to let him know when hewalked in the door and he says this wasGod’s timing god knew we needed to waithe was ready and that was when I kind ofreally clicked that like oh you arehaving real big heart trans you know yousaid something well he’s not he’s notreally open with his feelings well I’mmost guys sitting out there right now wedo the John Wayne thing you know and butI can tell I can assure you I can assureyou when he sensed that difference thatspirit in youthat hey I know you’re struggling withthis how can I pray for you instead ofsaying see you just like your daddy seeyou just you ain’t never going to changeoh you do good for a while you do goodfor a while and then you change oh thenyou go right back and I tell you uh andand I’m sure there’s guys out there andI know you ladies you put up with a lotyou know and we get it but when when yousee your wife comingalongside you’re struggling this is newyou’re having to change ideas theologieshabitsmindsets allowing someone the Lord thatyou may not even have a goodrelationship with and believing he’sgoing to do it and then when your wifecomes alongside and says “Hey how can Ipray for you?” Hey what are youstruggling with i’m telling you he maynot show it but it does make adifference and and you should be youshould be commended for that so many somany so many of us just it’s about me iheard a pastor onetime and he said he had counseledled alot of people and he found out what thenumber one cause of divorce was itwasn’t money it wasn’t it wasn’t uh youknowextrammarital affairs it was selfishnessit was justpure selfishness what about me i’m notgetting me men i don’t have this andyou’re not getting it for me sotherefore you must be the wrong personand I need to find the right one and youhad so many opportunities to to wantwhat what kept you there what what eveneven before Ethan was born and thenafter Ethan was born and now your secondchild uh Evan Evan he was bornuh I I just you know one of the things Ilook at in in yoursituation and we we’ve talked about thisbriefly had you listened to the worldhad you beenjustified I was justified in leaving hewas hard to live with y’all don’t evenknow you know where would you beI would be in a very dark place um itwould just would not be good honestly iWell you wouldn’t have any ch Well youwouldn’t have Ethan you wouldn’t haveAnd then your beautiful daughter as wellthere’s three of them yeah ium It would be nowhere good i I canpromise you that it would I don’t even Icouldn’t even try to imagine honestly ium I struggle with a lot of depression ithink if I had just given up on us andwalked away I think it would have beendetrimental to me spiritually I think itwould have just probably crushed mehonestly um because at the end of theday I I really truly always have lovedMatt always always always even on thedays where I hated him because therewere a lot of days there where I waslike I really want to ring your neck andsmother you with a pillow but I love youit’s like we’re going to sleep i loveyoubut I um I mean I I really do love himand at the end of the day when we gotmarried and I did tell him this I waslike there is no divorce it’s it’s agrave or a body bag we’re not gettingout of this um and I always have beenvery dedicated to that so I just Goodfor you yeah we um we’re like it’s goingto happen we’re going to make it workoutyou know Pastor Jeremy he preaches onall kinds of different one of when youwere talkingabout you know where you would have beensee the devil the enemy he wants us totake that counterfeit and get us to Wellhey you’re completely justifying whatyou’re doing i I believe the enemy knowsthat God has great things for us greatthings for us to do uh that he that heplans in advance for us to do but wehave to get there we have to get thereand Satan doesn’t know he doesn’t knowwhat those are but if he can hamstringyou if he can get you a counterfeit andyou know a counterfeit is pretty closeit’s pretty close but it ain’t the sameit ain’t the same well and building offof that we during this time I I reallydo feel like Satan used these he triedto use these victories against me in away after I had Evan I had horrendouspostpartum depression i was havinghorrible I couldn’t get out of bed ijust couldn’t talk to any and I startedjust having this really dark innerdialoguewhere your kids are good now becauseMatt’s saved he’s walking with the Lordhe’s good they would actually probablybe better off if you weren’t here oh mylord and it just kept getting worse whenyou say not here you may Oh I hadwritten letters out to the boys i hadwritten a letter out to Matt i hadtotally planned out i had picked out ahotel room i I was because I wasn’tgoing to do anything at my house but Iwas ready just to end it because Ithought I I had just the enemy had justgot so deep rooted in there and itliterally was just using like well yourkids are safe now because Matt’s withthe Lord and he’s walking with them soyou don’t really need to be here anymoreand he attacks those weaknesses he’sconstantly probing he was and once Ifinally it it came about reallyunfortunately matt’s friend he was veryclose to um had committedsuicide and it was a few weeks afterthat i was watching how hard it was onhim and I broke down crying one day andI we I finally just came clean and Itold him and he broke down crying whichshocked the heck out of me honestly I atthat time I was like I didn’t think hewould care if I was here or not so whenhe cried I was like “What is happening?”Um and he he started praying over me heOh wow and that I I can tell you when Idid that and we started praying togetherand having those conversations it justflipped that switch i um it was actuallyour anniversaryum a few years ago i went and rebaptizedhere at Timber Creek i recommitted and Iwas like I’m not giving a footholdanymore way to go and it was because Ihad a husband who was redeemed wowbecause he was serving the Lord sofervently so I always look at that nowin retrospect like I said I I was sopatient and I had so much trust that theLord was going to do what he needed todo with Matt and because of that I wasrewarded and really truly saved becauseof that because if I didn’t have himstanding by me literally putting hisarms over me praying over me I don’tknow i I would like to say I wouldn’thave gone through with it but I was insuch a dark place but you know Sarahthat’s such a beautiful thing that theLord had you he was pulling Matt he’sputting you and he’s preparing you forwhat great things are to come but we Hehas to work some stuff out he has towork those things out sometime and it’snot pleasant it is not some of thebloodiest battles on a path that we’reon i mean horrendous fights with withthe enemy leads to the greatest rewardsleads to the greatest rewards if you hadone word you had one word tosay about your life about where you guysare today you got three children matt isa strong member of our Make It Happenmissions you’re a great inspiration whatwould that word be redemption redemptionmatt and I have discussed it that’salways our one word we come back toconstantly because just through God’sgrace and hispatience he’s been nothing but justredeeming him redeeming me redeeming ourmarriage our family justconstantly being so gracious wow it’sall about obedience it’s all about dyingto sSarah thank you so much thank you somuchlisten ladies i know you put up with alot from us guys i get that and we’renot sitting here telling you “Hey ifhe’s smacking you and beating you up orbeating the We’re not talking about thatwe’re not talking about you know stayingin the fight staying in there you knowthe Lord wouldn’t even release you togo.” No he would and you’re going “Whatis wrong are you kidding me ladies letme tell you andgentlemen if the Lord has not allowedyou to go don’t do it there’s thingscalled consequences that we all have topay now please understand we are notsaying I don’t care if you’re gettingbeat upno alcoholic problem drug we’re notsaying that we’re saying when you startto see that transformation that you’vebeen praying for that you’ve been hopingcomes don’t quit no don’t give up but asSarah said he’s going to work on himhe’s going to work on you and let him doit and look at the beauty that comesfrom the ashes manashes man sarah great job appreciate youso much listen um die to self redemptionand let the Lord Lord has such greatthings for us to do ephesians 2:10 saysthat we are the we’re the handiwork ofGod built in the image of Jesus to dogood things and here’s the cool part theLord has prepared them in advance for usyou guys have not even scratched thesurface of the things God has for it andhad you made thosedecisions previously on emotion onwhether I’m happy or I’m not happy youwould not be sitting here today yourchildren would It’s crazy you see whatGod can do for us hang in there and ifyou’re in the midst of it you stay withwhat she says just hang in there andtrust God sarah is there anything elseyou’d like to sharei would just say for men and women inmarriage that you’re not being a martyryou’re you’re not being self-righteousor anything you’re fighting for yourmarriage and your marriage shouldreflect God in Jesus and the Holy Spiritand just be all in onegreat job we’re so thankful for you andMatt we look forward to the great thingsyou guys are going to do we’re going tohave to get you out on a what we callthe MSO a mission service opportunitybut I know we we don’t provide ch childcare on the job side but one day thehammer’s in their hands there you go heywe appreciate your time and we just webelieve that the Lord is speaking to youright now and just do what he says uhthat’s the hardest thing to do sometimebut it is well worth it sarah thanksagain hey be sure and watch uh Sarah’sepisode is going to be dropping in uhMay and we’re excited about that we wantto thank you for your time look forwardto episode number eight coming up and uhwe’ll see you next time
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